Well, let’s face it. It’s been far longer that this has been going on. BUT the last year has been particularly rough. With a side of amazing.

So, which to focus on?

Such a huge question and so many emotions wrapped into it.

There’s been so much good. And I hate the idea of taking away from the good, but there’s been struggles. A lot of hardship. As a mother especially and then as a girlfriend /wife.

At this time there is no contact and essentially no relationship with you. It’s heartbreaking and confusing. I’m angry and devastated.

I know it may seem like I’ve moved forward with out you, but that has never been my intention. I’ve wanted you there for every part of our lives. If time stood still, I could sit and wait for things to get back to how they should be, but it keeps moving. To stop living would not be fair to your siblings or me. So I’ve lived. I’ve missed you every day. Somedays I’m overwhelmed with emotion and can’t stop crying. Some days I realize that I’m doing the best I can with the circumstances before me.

Every single day one thing has never stopped:

I love you